Allyship in Parenting

This is not a topic I usually write about. However it is something I am deeply passionate about. I am a middle class straight white woman. I have never experienced racism. Sexism, sure. Never racism. I have been overwhelmed the past few months with the many horrific deaths that have occurred in the POC communities across the US. My parents raised me to love anyone and everyone regardless of race, class, gender, or sexuality. However I did not witness those prejudices in my community as a child and so I did not realize they were happening. Racism was something from history class to me. Now I know better.

One of the most impactful things I can do is raise my children to be effective allies. A powerful illustration I heard on a parenting podcast about teaching uncomfortable topics with children was this:

Children are like sponges, you can send them into the world a dry sponge with their innocence in tact, or you can fill them up with understanding yourself. They will learn either way; from you, or from someone else. You can’t control how or what someone else will teach them, but if you’ve already had the conversation, they will at least be able to tell fact from fiction.

Talking to my children about these issues is one step, but really it’s barely a start. Today I bought children’s books about POC in American history. I also purchased a Star Wars action figure of Finn for the boys to play with and keep on their bedroom shelf. It was surprisingly hard to find diverse action figures on Amazon or Target. I had never looked before today, but there was almost nothing. After sharing about my Amazon purchases a lot of friends and followers sent me more resources in my DMs, I would love to share them here with you:

• Talking to Your Children About Racism as a White Parent

• 75 Things You Can Do

• Anti-racism Resources

• A few Children’s Books & Other Resources

  • This Is How We Do It

  • I am Brave

  • The Story of Harriet Tubman

  • Little Dreamers: Visionary Women in History

  • Dream Big Little One

  • Little Legends: Exceptional Men in Black History

  • Let The Children March

  • HereWeRead on Instagram

• Kid’s Toys

  • Star Wars Finn Pop Action Figure

  • Black Panther Pop Action Figure

  • Disney Animators Collection

  • Disney Aladdin Deluxe Figurine Set

  • Marvel Legends Series Avengers Black Panther

• TV Shows and Documentaries (for adults)

  • The Wire on HBO (I know this is a drama, this was written by the Baltimore Chief of Police and the lead Editor of the Baltimore Sun for decades, they use their expertise to tell an incredibly accurate story of Baltimore). The 4th season was hugely impactful for me on issues of race.

  • 13th on Netflix

  • The Watchmen (Also a drama, but covers so many issues of race and opens with the Tusla Massacre, which I did not even know was an actual historical event until watching that show)

  • I will update this list as I watch more and vet them myself but here is a link to the top suggested Black History Documentaries that I plan on working my way through.

I share this not because I am an expert, but because I am trying to learn and grow. Let me know if you’ve found other resources helpful for understanding or teaching kids about the racial injustices and biases that are all around us.